Luis “Scolar Bear” Scola should be handed the reins of the offense in game five. I’m not even being funny here. Nobody on the Pacers has shown any competitive spirit beyond the minimal amount required to play in the NBA in the first place; Scola will show that spirit as long as you mention to him before the game how you think that the British were correct in maintaining control of the Falkland Islands in the face of Argentina’s claims to the land. Nothing gets Scola in the zone more than thinking about the injustice of losing a vast, inhospitable pile of rocks to those limey Brits.
The problem is, I don’t really have any insider access to NBA locker rooms, despite my previous (and numerous) claims to the contrary. If it comes down to it, I’ll just tweet maps of the Falkland Islands to Scola a few hours before game time, but it would be sweet if one of his teammates took charge on this one.