Isaiah Thomas 27 Points Full Highlights (1/21/2015)

Isaiah Thomas took short, careful steps into the nightclub. He was still a little unsteady on his new footwear, but even with his uneven gait, he felt more confident than ever before.

“First time wearing heels?” snickered a woman who was sitting at the bar, having seen the eight-inch cardboard contraptions strapped to Isaiah’s feet.

Isaiah ignored her comment. “A pretty lady like you shouldn’t be sitting at the bar with these losers,” he purred into her ear. “Why don’t you come dance with a tall NBA player like me?”

“Um, no thanks, I only like tall guys,” responded the woman.

Isaiah crossed his arms. “We went over this. I’m tall. Way taller than you, way taller than the rest of the manlets at this club. I’m like six-five, six-six at least.”

“Not without those shoes you’re not.”

“Fine, I give up,” Isaiah sighed. “But you’ll come back with your tail between your legs when you see how much action I’m getting from all the 10/10 honeys on the dance floor.” Turning away from the woman who had spurned him, he wobbled his way over to where hundreds of people were packed in, gyrating to the electronic music pumped over the speakers.

“Hey, watch it!” he yelled as an unaware dancer jostled him. As the offender turned around, Isaiah lost his balance and fell hard to the floor with his arms flailing. Immediately he felt something snap underneath him. Looking down at his new height-enhancing shoes, he saw that part of his left shoe had snapped cleanly off, a victim of its own flimsy construction. “You idiot! You wrecked my shoes!”

The buff guy looked down at the little man on the floor. “Ohhhh, I’m sowwy, did little baby go boom-boom?” Then he saw what Isaiah was talking about. “Oh man, what are those on your feet? Stilts? That’s hilarious!”

“They’re just normal shoes, but now you’ve gone and broken them, you moron,” Isaiah said angrily, struggling to get on his feet with one foot now eight inches higher than the other..

“Everybody, check this out! This little midget thought he could trick us into thinking he was tall!” As the man laughed and pointed, others turned and looked, and when they saw the funny scene in front of them, they began to laugh as well. Soon, the music was drowned out by a whole dance floor of people laughing uproariously, some of them taking videos with their phones.

“Stop! Stop laughing at me!” Isaiah yelled, fighting back tears. “Stop!” But his yells were not heard over the laughter, and he helplessly slumped back onto the floor, feeling shorter than he ever had in his life.

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