Enes Kanter 21 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2015)

Enes Kanter fidgeted with the silverware in front of him. His date was late, and even though she had seemed very eager to meet him, Enes himself was not as enthused about the entire operation. He would not have been entirely displeased if he had gotten ditched; that possibility presented a much slimmer chance of Enes mucking things up.

It had all been Anthony Morrow’s idea. Anthony seemed to think that Enes needed to meet more women. Rather than just let Enes run his life as he pleased, Anthony had arranged a date with a Thunder cheerleader Kaetlynn. “You have to leave the past behind you, man,” Anthony had said. For some reason, Enes had listened. That seemed like a very poor choice right now.

So lost in thought was Enes that he only realized his date had arrived when she sat down across the table from him. “Hi, I’m Kaetlynn,” she said happily, clearly glad to be on a date with a certifiable NBA player.

“Hi. I’m-”

“Oh, I already know who you are, you’re Enes Kanter!” she exclaimed. Noticing the mildly bewildered look on Enes’ face, she added, “I’m at all the home games, remember?”

“Oh yeah. I remember now,” Enes responded. “You’re not as pretty as Jesseca though.”

Kaetlynn’s smile faltered. “Who’s Jesseca?”

Enes sighed. Reliving that time of his life was painful, but it also provided a kind of solace. “Jesseca, my beautiful cheerleader from Utah. We had love together until I traded and move to Oklahoma. Now she bang Rudy Gobert but I still in love for her.”

Now Kaetlynn was visibly annoyed. “Why did you agree to go on a date with me if you’re still hung up on some slut from your last team?”

Enes became annoyed as well. “Do not speak about my Jesseca with such voice! She is not slut! She is beautiful woman with beautiful heart. You are less beautiful woman with ugly heart made of worms and ashes. I telling Anthony that Oklahoma cheerleaders all deceptive hell-women, but he trick me into believe otherwise, liar that Anthony is.”

“I think this date is over,” said Kaetlynn, standing up from the table where she had sat down not two minutes prior.

“I thinking so too,” Enes agreed. “Maybe you having better luck with American pretty-boy Mitch McGary.”

“And maybe you’ll have better luck jacking off to your memories of some whore who’s probably slept with the entirety of the Jazz’s bench and coaching staff since you left town,” Kaetlynn replied viciously before abruptly walking out the door of the restaurant.

“DO NOT SAY SUCH THINGS!” Enes bellowed, causing the entire restaurant to hush in surprise. Seeing all the attention drawn to him, knowing that all these people knew what a failure he was, realizing that there may be some truth in Kaetlynn’s harsh words, these things were too much. Enes put his head in his large hands and began to weep.

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