It lightens my heart greatly to see that, with warmth finally gracing the harsh lands of Minnesota once again, that the accumulated dunes of the cursed white sand are melting away from the ground. I am hesitant to allow hope to reside in my heart, but I cannot help myself: I believe truly that I will not see the evil precipitation for several more months, for my teammates have informed me that the so-called “snow” does not occur in the summer months.
However, there is a part of my mind that realizes the true nature of the infernal white sand as a plague sent from Satan himself. Satan’s power over the elements would be sufficient to cause the demon sand to fall during warm weather.
Karl-Anthony has been very sullen lately. He attaches sentimental importance to his beloved “snow” and has grown despondent now that the prospects for additional “snowfall” are meager. I have informed my priest that my teammate might be possessed by demons, for there is no other explanation for him being so fond of the cursed white sand. The priest did not take my suggestion seriously, however. He, too, fails to understand my feelings about snow.
Perhaps the entire land of Minnesota is so possessed.
Still, I am glad that the sand is gone for now. I can finally enjoy the outdoors without having to check the weather reports every five minutes, living in constant fear of being ambushed by Satan’s cursed precipitation.
P.S. Serge Ibaka can’t even sniff my jockstrap right now”