2015-16 Season All Field Goals Full Highlights (2015-16 Full-ilation Part 1/447)

“You’re a good little kitty, aren’t you?” I say to my cat Japurri Purrker, who has crawled into my lap in what is obviously a request for what I like to call “scritchy times”. Japurri lives up to his name as I scritch underneath his chin and behind his ears; he purrs happily and gazes up at me with contented, half-open eyes. I look back at him, entranced by my own reflection present in the black pupils of those orange orbs.

Suddenly, a flash of understanding passes between us. “That’s a great idea, Mr. Kitty!” I exclaim. “A series of videos depicting every made field goal in the NBA season would definitely be the logical extension of my work!” Japurri looks a little startled by my loud voice, but he quickly relaxes again as I run my palm along his back. “Perhaps one could even say that such a project would be the pinnacle of NBA highlights, never to be surpassed,” I continue, looking thoughtfully at my computer screen. “The very definition of ‘full highlights’ would be dismantled and remade into a radically new concept.”

The prospect of undertaking a project of such monumental scope and importance has me itching to begin work right away. I gently pick Japurri up by the midsection and place him on the floor next to my desk; a cat on my lap is comforting, but also hinders the speed at which I compile my videos. Japurri meows in disappointment, as if he doesn’t understand the reason for my urgency. “It was your idea in the first place, you silly little kitty!” I admonish.

Then, my focus turns to the screen in front of me, and I commence the highlight video project which will span hundreds of videos and tens of thousands of individual field goals. Japurri, having already forgotten the injustice which was so cruelly levied upon him, curls up near the warmth of my computer tower, oblivious to the fact that his owner will soon irreparably shatter the prevailing highlight paradigm…forever.

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