Kosta Koufos 16 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/16/2016)

Here’s something new to file away in the NBA conspiracy archives: does Kosta Koufos get special treatment from the refs because he looks like he’s forty years old? Both on offense, where he might be allowed to get away with more push-offs and contact than usual, and on defense, where he might have pity fouls called on him because old men shouldn’t have to get bodied in the paint like that. Honestly, if I were a ref, I would take it super easy on Koof until the point where I found out that he was actually only 27 years old and that he only looks like he’s experiencing the ravages of middle age because his hair is violently thinning.

You can’t tell me with a straight face that you thought Koof was any younger than thirty. It’s not possible. He looked like he was thirty when he was nineteen and he hasn’t gotten younger since then. That’s not how clocks work. That’s not how time works.

Next step for the Sacramento Kings; DeMarcus Cousins needs to somehow get his hair to look bald and his face to look gaunt so that he can barrel into the lane and get calls all day every day from sympathetic refs. Do you think rubbing tzatziki sauce on his scalp would work?

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