Much ado has been made about how the Pelicans have no scorers at all surrounding DeMarcus Cousins and Anthony Davis, unless you count Jrue Holiday. You should also count Alexis Ajinca but that’s not relevant because he doesn’t play. Anyway, the Pellies finally got a good scoring performance out one of their role-players when E”””’Tw””au””n Moore scored 18 points, but the Pelicans still lost. So, thanks to one bit of evidence seeming to say that the Pels can’t win even when their role-players play well, I am ready to proclaim the following: it is all Cousins’ fault.
And Anthony Davis.
And Alexis Ajinca. But more those other two guys
The Pelicans were doing great until Cousins came along. They were right in the thick of the hunt for the eleventh seed. It looked like they might even get up to tenth with strong play from Buddy Hield and Langston Galloway, two future stars that formed a deadly shooting guard tandem but were foolishly traded away for “The Big Cancer” as I’ve taken to calling Cousins. If AD had bigger balls he would make Cousins into his bitch to limit his negative impact on the locker room, and if Sexy Alexis had bigger balls he would make them both into his bitches and dress them up in French maid outfits and make them be his servants.
Meanwhile E”””’Tw””au””n is sitting to the side wondering where it all went so wrong but also counting the hella money he got from his hella big contract.