Austin Rivers 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (10/28/2017)

“Dear Diary,

It’s been a long time since I wrote to you, but I’ve been having so much fun with my new friends that I sort of forgot. I know you won’t be too mad, though. You and me share everything, Diary.

When I found out that stupid poopy-butt Chris got traded to the Rockets, I ran right up to daddy and gave him a big hug. Chris was always daddy’s favorite, but now I get to be the favorite. When we traded Chris we got Patrick back in return, but I like Patrick a lot better than Chris even if he gets to start and not me. Patrick always laughs when I make Spongebob jokes. He’s really cool and nice. Sometimes he gets a little scary when he gets angry, like a different bad person takes over his brain, but when he does that I just hide in one of the toilet stalls in the locker room until he becomes normal Patrick again.

I have some other new friends too. Milos is really funny because he can’t speak English very good, I can barely understand him! Sometimes he shows me pictures of Serbia, and I tell him it looks like a bunch poor people living in the dirt. Serbia must be in Africa or something because Milos looks like one of the hobos I have to walk past at the Staples Center. I hope I never have to go to Serbia to play basketball, but as long as daddy makes the decisions for the team I think I can stay here in Los Angeles with my friends.

That’s all for now, Diary. I promise to write more in you now that the season started.

-Austin”

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