The blame for me having to make this highlight video lies squarely on the Los Angeles Lakers players who were too unskilled/uncoordinated or simply too dumb to avoid fouling Allen “Crabbey Patty” Crabbe on his three-point attempts. That’s seven whole points that Crabbey Patty acquired simply by shooting free throws. If you take the seven points off his total of 25, that leaves him with eighteen. If he had scored just eighteen, I wouldn’t be making this video right now. I would be doing something productive with my time. I could be:
-Making Victor Oladipo highlights
-Scratching my ass
-Petting my little kitty Japurri Purrker
-Compiling four-hour-long smooth jazz megamixes for my secret second YouTube channel which only features the most sensual and urban smooth jazz standards
-Driving out to McDonalds to load up on cinny-melts
-Literally anything else you can think of, I would rather be doing right now
Yeah. Sorry Crabbe. Too many free throws my man.