If I am Tyronn Lue, after tonight I am officially initializing PANIC MODE, immediately applicable to the whole Cavalier organization.
What does PANIC MODE entail, you ask? It varies from team to team, but for Lue and the Cavaliers it would include but not be limited to these things:
– Lots of panicked hand/arm waving. This is the clearest way to let fans know that you know that things are really messed up.
– More blank-eyed staring on the bench. For Lue this is especially important. It means you’re in the zone, and the zone is what you need to be in when your team is falling apart due to the combined stressors of expectations, LeBron’s soon-to-come free agency, and the broken nacho cheese machine in the concourse D concession stand.
– LeBron doesn’t let anyone else touch the ball anymore. Literal one-man show from here on out.
– When LeBron sits, run the offense through Kyle Korver. People/things in PANIC MODE are known for rash and ill-considered ideas, but this one is totally sound and should work because he’s a really damn good shooter.
– Players-only meetings. Those always turn out real good.
– Comic Sans.