Bobby Portis 20 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2017)

We have to, as fans, move on from the Bobby Portis/Nikola Mirotic punching incident. We have to be mature, we have to show that we are not amused by such debased depravity. We approach basketball in a studious manner, we are students of the game, and we care not for the E!SPN-driven drama outside of it. Right? Right.

Tonight I only care about what Portis did on the court. Other factors are irrelevant to me. All that matters is his statistical output and how his eyes look like they’re gonna pop right out of his noggin. Just… POP! There they go. Skittering across the court until someone accidentally steps on one, sending the vitreous sloshing all over the hardwood. The mop-men rush over to clean up the mess, but meanwhile Portis is finding that he can still see through the one remaining eye which is now situated directly at center court, pointing straight up. He flails and screams, running semi-blindly into the crowd, seeing only the ceiling of the United Center as his body smashes into the fans, fans who are now screaming as well. The screaming confuses Portis even more, and soon this confusion turns to anger, and it’s all he can do to not wind up and send a haymaker into the first meat-sack he can find…

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