John Collins 16 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/10/2017)

I truly think that right now, the thing holding John Collins back from greater things, or at least more general hype, is his name. John Collins. I’m trying to think of a boringer name, and it’s hard. There are definitely no first names as lame as John. Collins isn’t as lame as like “Williams” but I bet it’s top 10 in terms of last-name lameitude.

Here’s the truth: people only care about Lonzo Ball because he has a cool name. Collins is like 10 times the player Lonzo is right now, or maybe even more, but it doesn’t matter because he is at such an onomastic deficit. If he was named, for example, and this is just something I made up on the spot, “Taurean Prince”, I bet people would be lining up to take rides on his rod. And that’s the truth, my friends.

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