When I saw that Kent “Bazed God” Bazemore had 22 points and seven assists last night, my heart dropped like a stone. 22 points I can live with, I’ll survive that, but add seven assists on top of that and all of a sudden I run the real risk of falling into a boredom-induced coma just by making this highlight video. The only thing that saved me this time was Bazemore’s injury scare near the end. If that hadn’t happened I’d be lying unresponsive on the floor right now with my cat Japurri Purrker licking me and meowing at me to try to wake me up.
Here’s the truth: I use the nickname “Bazed God” in reference to Bazemore, but there is nothing “Based” about him. He’s solid sometimes. That hardly qualifies for the title of “Based”. Last time this guy scored 22 points, I made a highlight video and it got 700 views. That’s a full 300 views less than my minimum standard for view counts. Whatever the opposite of “Based” is, that’s what Kent Bazemore is. Unfortunately the concept of “Based”-ness has no direct antonym so that will have to wait until somebody comes up with one.