Lonzo Ball looks even more like a pizza now that he’s cut his hair. His head lost some of the triangular shape that his hair-poof provided, but now it looks more like a crust then ever. And you’ve still got the cheese (his skin), the tomato sauce (the pinkness that develops when he exerts himself), and the pepperoni (the acne). That’s all the components of a pizza right there, last time I checked, which was actually just now.
Side note: do not eat a whole large pizza by yourself even if you are really hungry. I’m rumbling like Mt. Saint Helens right now, and the coming explosion will surely be about as catastrophic.
Mr. Pizza now has his second trippy-doobie of the season, a feat that would be incredibly impressive in any rookie class that didn’t have Ben Simmons in it. You can talk all you want about “worst of all time shooting percentages” and “shooting form that makes Shawn Marion faint”, but it takes a lot of skill to get triple-doubles in the NBA, and Lonzo has two of them.
And with the way he’s been blocking shots, I bet he can notch a 5 by 5 as well this season. Why the hell not?