Daniel Theis vs. Maxi Kleber: who is the better German rookie? In this description I will factually analyze the facts with analysis and give you an official verdict so that you don’t have to try to form opinions yourself.
SCORING: Theis is averaging 4.3 PPG. Kleber is averaging 3.9 PPG. Any moron should be able to figure out that 4.3 is a larger number than 3.9, even if you struggle with the concept of decimals like me. ADVANTAGE: Theis
TEAM SUCCESS: Theis is on a good team. Maxi is on a bad team. I don’t think it gets more clear-cut than this. ADVANTAGE: Theis
LEARNING AT THE HAND OF THE GERMAN MASTER: Theis is the only German on the Celtics so he has to get his veteran leadership from non-German players. Maxi gets to play with the one, the only, the immortal Dirk Nowitzki. They talk in German all the time in the locker room and eat schnitzels and drink lagers and wear lederhosen and all these experiences mean that Maxi is in a better position to succeed Dirk as the next German big guy who can shoot. ADVANTAGE: Kleber
ATTRACTIVENESS: I have been told that Theis looks like the guy from Coldplay, but to me he looks like a very large, very pale elf. Kleber looks like a mix of Chandler Parsons and Tom Cruise. ADVANTAGE: Kleber
BAILING OUT EUROPE WITH A ROBUST ECONOMY THAT RESISTS THE RECESSIONS AND DOWNTURNS THAT PLAGUE THE REST OF THE EUROZONE: Both Theis and Kleber are from Germany, but their impact on the day-to-day economic affairs of their country is rather minimal. ADVANTAGE: nobody
WIN SHARES: Theis has .136 win shares per 48. Kleber has .84. Again, these are decimal numbers so the math gets a little complicated, but I’m pretty sure Theis’ numbers are better. ADVANTAGE: Theis
DTB’S OFFICIAL FINAL VERDICT OF TRUTH: Daniel Theis is a BETTER German rookie than Maxi Kleber.