My plan for the description was to grandstand about Serge “Ibaka Gaijin” Ibaka’s devolution from a powerful, physical, defensive-minded player into a soft, Euro-esque jumpshooting ninny who is basically Andrea Bargnani 2.0 for the Raptors. Then I made the actual highlight video and I witnessed Ibaka convert four separate dunks, all of them thrown down with the most Congolese fury imaginable.
So now I have to come up with a new idea for this description and I’m honestly struggling. I guess I can just express wonderment at how Ibaka, against all my expectations, may have formed a legitimate “big three” in Toronto by teaming up with Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan. We could call them the “Chuck Three” because they all like to put up a bunch of shots, but now that DeRozan actually is trying to distribute the ball a little bit, that nickname just seems petty and unfair. How about the “Cold Three”? Because Toronto is cold a lot of the time? No?