Larry Nance Jr. 16 Points Full Highlights (12/29/2017)

The Lakers just had a players-only meeting (or maybe Coach Walton was involved too, I don’t know) to address their frustrations with the team as the losses continue to pile up. That meeting occurred before their game against the Clippers; apparently it didn’t work, because they lost this one too. Larry Nance in general seems like a chill, relaxed dude, so I’m sort of curious if he had anything negative to say at this meeting. Here’s some scenarios:

SCENARIO 1: Larry tells the rest of the team that he’s the best dunker in the gym and he needs more touches where he can dunk it. Then he walks over to Lonzo Ball and tells Lonzo to his face that Lonzo needs to focus more on passing the ball because his scoring sucks donkey dick. Punches are exchanged. Larry wins the fight because he is bigger and more powerful. Nobody tries to stop the fight because they all secretly hate Lonzo. They also all secretly hate Kentavious Caldwell-Pope for being a drunk driver so they don’t argue when KCP also gets a faceful of Larry’s fist.

SCENARIO 2: Larry flat-out says that Walton’s rotations are sabotaging the team, and that his own minutes should be reduced in favor of the superior player Julius Randle who is getting unfairly marginalized. Everybody agrees with Larry’s assessment of the situation so they come up with a plot to undermine Walton’s power in the organization: whenever he tells somebody to sub into the game, somebody else goes to the scorer’s table instead. Eventually Walton completely loses control of substitutions and just sits there impotently on the bench with a clipboard limply hanging in his hands while the players decide their own minutes in a democratic system.

SCENARIO 3: Instead of having a necessary and productive team meeting, an impromptu dunk contest breaks out in the gym where the meeting was supposed to be held. Larry does a free-throw-line 360 dunk after Brandon Ingram tries and fails eight times to do a similar dunk from a shorter distance. It is decided by team consensus that Ingram is a big busterooni and that Larry is the Lakers’ star of the future.

Any of those would be way cooler than what probably happened, which is Larry sitting there looking uncomfortable while players throw each other under the bus.

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