“Dear Mr. Holiday,
I regret to inform you that you have disqualified yourself from any further highlight videos based on your shameful performance on January 5th, 2018 against the Dallas Mavericks. You are likely to be aware of the incident to which I refer, but, for legal reasons, I will disclose it here:
You are an NBA player, yet you banked in a three-pointer.
I hope you embarrassed, Mr. Holiday. To have so little awareness of the strength of your arms and your distance from the basket must be a terrible burden on your ability to effectively play basketball. Now that you have proven to me to be unskilled, uncoordinated, and generally unwatchable player, I have made the decision to cease making highlight videos for you and uploading them to my channel, effective today, January 6th 2018.
This decision is final and no appeals will be heard. You may, upon reading this correspondence, seek to blame me for this outcome, but I must remind you who it was that banked in the three-pointer. It wasn’t me. It was you, Mr. Holiday.
In addition to the three-pointer in question, you also shot entirely too many free throws in a row at the end of the game: eight by my count. I understand that it was not your choice to get fouled repeatedly by the opposing team. However, it was fully within your ability to miss all of those free-throws, yet you foolishly chose to make them instead. You, Mr. Holiday, are a disgrace to the game of basketball and, if anybody thought you were an asset to the human race before this incident, they certainly don’t think so any longer.
I will be pleased to never have to work with you or think about you ever again. That said, your payment of $25,000 for my highlight services is due. If I do not receive payment for the full amount within sixty (60) days, legal action will be levied against you.