Jeff Green points last night: 22.
Cavaliers starters’ points last night: 28.
Now, I’m definitely not trying to insinuate in any way that Jeff Green is better than the totality of the Cavs’ starting unit, which includes All-Star caliber players like Kevin Lovestomissshots, LeBrick “LeBenched Blames” Shames, and Isaiah ThomAss. Jeff Green might be having one of the best seasons of his career, but he’s still Jeff Green, the guy who has given up on multiple teams and continues to struggle with a deep addiction to Benzos. I’m just enumerating the scoring similarities because it’s hilarious.
What’s not so hilarious is that Green tricked me into thinking he had a good game by scoring six points on two three-pointers in the final minute of the game when nobody was making a serious effort to stop him. If he hadn’t made those two pointless baskets, he would’ve only had sixteen, and I couldn’t gotten my De’Aaron Fox first career double-double video out a lot quicker. Thanks for nothing you Benzo junkie.