Dwayne Bacon 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/22/2018)

The Hornets just handed the Grizzlies one of the worst losses in NBA history, and the only video I get to make for the winning team is Dwayne “The Baconator” Bacon scoring a measly fifteen points? I understand that Kemba had 46, but that means there’s almost 100 more points that the Hornets scored that need to be accounted for. This injustice has me so riled up that I’m thinking of writing a very strongly-worded tweet aimed at the Hornets organization for allowing this to happen.

I’m also angry at the Baconator for having an 18-point game early in his career, which totally tricked me into thinking he was a good scorer even though he wasn’t. Why do players lie to me like this? And why am I so easily suckered into the lies? I can think of another lie that I bought hook, line, and sinker: when Jennifer told me the words “I love you”. We all know how that turned out.

The only thing I’m happy about in this video is that it provides conclusive evidence that Mangok Mathiang and Marcus Paige are not made-up players, but are real-life flesh-and-blood dudes who actually exist. I honesty got a little bit hyped to see that those two guys accounted for four of the Baconator’s five assists.

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