Bojan Bogdanovic just got done handing Kevin Durant’s nuts to him on a silver platter, but this one is even better: Wade Baldwin the Fourth pretty much made James Harden the Zeroth into an injured butt-baby. I actually almost felt sort of bad for Harden, because of how bad he was getting devastated, but then I remembered how much of a flopper he is and how good-looking Baldwin is comparatively and I stopped feeling bad and starting feeling happy.
Harden had to have his flopper buddy Chris Paul bail him out of what would’ve been a horrible loss. The Blazers’ scrub-unit went on a huge run to close the game, hitting shots, forcing turnovers, and then Paul had to ruin the fun by hitting a game-winner right at the end. There is no doubt, though, that the Blazers now have the blueprint to beating the Rockets: have Baldwin and Jake Layman on your team and you should be good.
The Warriors are on the phone right now begging for a trade. I hear Kevin DurCupcake is gonna be part of this deal. Gotta get Curry another ring before his ankles dissolve into their constituent atoms.