Which team is most likely to be total garbage next season? It’s too early to tell, and I bet all 30 of them think they can, with the right moves, make the playoffs a year from now, but we need to figure it out. Because that is the team that Boban Marjanovic needs to get traded to. Traded to so they can run the offense through him and let him average 20/12/4 like we all know he can.
I bet the Hawks will suck. Who’s their projected starting center? I wouldn’t put it past them to get Dwight Howard again, but for now it looks like… Miles Plumlee! Great! Marjanovic can totally beat the guy out for minutes. No problem. Plumlee can’t do anything but dunk, anyway. Marjanovic can definitely do that, so easily that he doesn’t have to jump, but he can also do other center-y things.
I mean, he’s simply unstoppable next to the basket. This has been proven multiple teams, and it was proven yet again in this contest against the Lakers. He gets the ball in good position, either he scores or he gets fouled. He can just hold the ball above the frantically waving arms of the dwarfism-affected meatballs underneath him and put it in the hole. It’s like one of those hypothetical “how valuable would such-and-so player with ridiculous attributes be” except this is real life. Real frickin’ life, people.
Get him on the Bucks. I changed my mind. It would be perfect, since they don’t play defense anyway so they don’t need their center to either.