Ever since I got my microwave back in good working order (thanks to a special Buddy I have), I’ve been making sure to really appreciate all the Pop-Tarts I eat. There was a scary period of a few days where I didn’t have Pop-Tarts at all, and I hadn’t realized how important they were in my life until they were no longer there. When I was at my lowest point, I considered eating the Pop-Tarts cold straight out of the box, but I never succumbed to that dirty temptation.
So this morning I made what I like to call a “Pop-Tart Sandwich”, which is two of one flavor Pop-Tart with one of another flavor Pop-Tart in between them. Today’s chef-inspired flavor combination was blueberry for the “bread” and chocolate chip cookie dough for the “filling”. It was delicious, naturally, and it got me ready for a productive morning of making highlight videos.
I’m sitting there working on the Justin Anderson video which you’re watching currently, and I was so distracted by the fact that he scored way more points (25) than his next-highest total this season (12) that I didn’t realize that my smart little kitty Japurri Purrker (I might have to change his name in the off-season) had brought me another Pop-Tart to keep me alert. I looked down and it was there on my desk, and Japurri was looking at me waiting for head scritches, so I gave him his head scritches and then he laid down on the floor to take a little nap.
I didn’t know Japurri was smart enough to use the microwave but long ago I learned not to underestimate the intelligence contained within his little kitty brain. So I’m munching on the Pop-Tart and it seems to be generating a lot more crumbs than usual. Pop-Tarts can be messy, but this one was practically spraying crumbs all over my workspace, and that annoyed me because I take great pains to ensure that no crumbs enter my 150-dollar mechanical keyboard.
I put down the half-finished Pop-Tart back onto the plate, and as I did so, I noticed that my fingers themselves seemed to be the source of the crumbs. Like the skin was flaking off or something. I rubbed my hands together and a whole bunch of crumbs came out, even though I had checked them beforehand to make sure that they didn’t have any obvious bits of Pop-Tart still sticking to them. This is gonna sound gross, but when I tasted one of the skin flakes, it totally tasted like Pop-Tart, and it even had a bit of raspberry filling on it, and it definitely had the consistency of a baked good and not just a bit of dead skin.
So that’s weird. I don’t know if I’ve been eating too many Pop-Tarts or if I’m losing my marbles or what, but it was like my hands were made out of Pop-Tarts for a while there. Now I’ve finished the Pop-Tart and everything is back to normal, I’m typing this and nothing weird is happening. But the whole thing has me a little nervous. I wonder if it’s possible to enjoy Pop-Tarts too much?