Khris Middleton 23 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (4/20/2018)

Khris Middleton must be reading my descriptions, because he apparently has developed a level of distaste for layups (“LAME-ups”) which rivals my own distaste for layups (“LAME-ups”). Instead, he upped the quantity and difficulty of his midrange jumpshots (“Middrange Jimbos” [pronounced “Mid-d-range” with an extra D sound so that everybody knows you’re talking about Middleton’s midrange game]), which not only heightens the aesthetic quality of the resulting highlight video, but is just straight up more disrespectful to the team that’s trying to guard you. It’s like saying “you forced me into this tough shot, except you didn’t, because I WANT to take this shot, and now it’s going in the hole, and I could do this all day if my teammates wouldn’t get mad about the lack of shots.”

Not only did Middleton completely take a dump on the Celtics and all the residents of Boston, but he was just two rebounds and three assists shy of a triple-double. If he had played out the end of this game, he could have gotten it, but he had already punished the Celtics enough, so he told coach Prunty “Take me out so I don’t embarrass these fools anymore.” You can totally see his lips saying that when he gets subbed out for the last time.

If he gets asked about Markieff Morris in interview questions, I think he’s completely justified in saying “Who? I don’t know who the frick that is”.

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