Terry Rozier 16 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (5/21/2018)

In these ECF Conference Finals, Terry Rozier has not lived up to his “Scary Terry” nickname like we all wanted him to. Averaging fourteen and six on 41% shooting is nice enough, I guess, but it’s definitely not “scary”. It’s not even “mildly disquieting”. Unfortunately, due to the rhyming, ear-pleasing nature of the nickname, assigning him a different nickname is difficult. The best I could come up with is “Very (Average) Terry”, but it’s not ideal because if you pronounce the word in the parentheses, it ruins the flow.

Given the substandard quality of this new nickname, I have decided that I will only charge Rozier $10,000 for use of it. That’s low enough of a price where it seems like I’m not placing enough value on the large amount of time it took me to come up with that nickname, but I’m cutting Rozier a break here. It’s not like his current contract is even that big. I know the struggle, and the struggle is real.

With $10,000 I should be able to get my landlord to stop throwing around the word “eviction” around me. I’m still not quite sure what it means, but the context in which he says it indicates that the threat of “eviction” can be reduced if I pay money. I wonder how long it would shut him up if I gave him the whole ten thousand. Knowing him, he would probably find something else to complain about. Like the kiddie pool on my patio that’s being used as an extra-large trash can because I’m too lazy to haul my garbage over to the dumpster.

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