Omari Spellman 18 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (11/7/2018)

I don’t remember now. Does the Hawks upper management want the in-arena experience to be more “urban” or less “urban”? All I remember is some controversy about it swinging too far in one direction; either it was too urban for the suburbanites who go to the games, or it wasn’t urban enough for the downtown dwellers who go to the games. Or maybe nobody goes to the games but they thought people would if it were more/less urban.

In any case, I’ve got a new idea for halftime entertainment: Spellman’s Spelldown. It’s like a spelling bee but there’s an added physical component to make it even tougher for the contestants. Basically, Omari Spellman stands out there with two randomly-chosen fans and gives them words to spell. And after they spell the word they have to hit one of two free throws or the word doesn’t count. Oh yeah, and while they’re spelling the word they have to spin around to make themselves dizzy. It’ll be great.

If this isn’t urban enough for the management, just have hip-hop music playing in the background and make all the words just the names of famous rappers. If they wanted to go the other way, and make it not urban at all, they could make the combatants roll around in a giant vat of baked beans Nickelodeon-style. All the white people would ironically enjoy the nostalgic throwback to Double Dare and you could serve the baked beans later at the concessions stands for twelve dollars a plate.

If somebody at the Hawks can get in contact with me about this, I promise that my consulting fees are quite reasonable and not extortionate at all.

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