In this year’s hotly-anticipated “Bogdanovic Battle”, Bojan Bogdanovic and Bogdan Bogdanovic battled it out for supremacy on the basketball court. It was an exciting contest to be sure, but who came out on top? With truthity and honestfulness on my side, I will look at the facts as they appear in this particular corner of the universe. No extra-universial facts will be considered. Let the fact-off begin!
TEAM VICTORY STATUS:
Bojan’s team, the Indiana Pacers, lost this game by one point to the Sacramento Kings, Bogdan’s team. That’s a fact. What’s also a fact is that even if you think the Pacers should’ve won due to some technicality, only rarely do NBA games get replayed, so the result of this one will probably not change. Advantage: Bogdanovic
Bogdan’s hairline might be creeping up the sides of his head a little bit, but it’s pristine compared to the see-through tangle that occupies the top of Bojan’s head. Advantage: Bogdanovic
You really think I’m going to go here? No way, Jose. I wouldn’t say my opinion on this even if I did have one, which I don’t, because I’m an American and all those Eastern European countries are basically the same in my ignorant mind. Advantage: Bogdanovic
Bojan had 27 points to Bogdan’s 20. That’s a significant advantage for Bojan, remember, I’m only looking at the facts here. I’m not judging the aesthetic quality of the points, or their impact on the game. Only their raw quantity. Advantage: Bogdanovic
I assumed that Bogdan would get the chance to take the lead on the Kings’ final possession, but instead he stood in the corner as Willie Cauley-Stein executed a slick putback dunk with 16 seconds left. I guess “clutchness” can include “not running in and tackling your center as he tries to win the game for you team”. Meanwhile, Bojan had a nice look at a buzzer-beater game-winner for the Pacers, but rimmed it out. A nice effort, but not clutch at all. Advantage: Bogdanovic
GRASP OF OBJECT PERMANENCE
Neither player has reached the crucial mental milestone of “object permanence”, or the idea that objects that are not currently in view don’t cease to exist. When both Bojan and Bogdan do not see the ball while playing, they forget entirely about its existence and run around, confused, until they somehow spot it again. Object permanence is a skill usually mastered by the age of 2. Advantage: Bogdanovic
A careful re-reading of the above paragraphs will indicate that all the pertinent facts have been analyzed carefully and meticulously, following all the tenets of the scientific method. The results are in after careful tabulation, and the winner of the Bogdanovic Battle is… Bogdanovic!