There is a shameful deficit of dunkage in this video. Steven “The Big Kiwi” Adams, known for his rim-punishing and defender-embarrassing slams, only had one weak little dunk in this entire contest. The rest of this video could be said to contain…shudder..an excess of PUSH-SHOTTAGE. I appreciate that Adams has really developed that push shot of his into an effective scoring maneuver, but it’s like the exact counterpoint to the brutal power that I expect Adams to play with. Rather than power through defenders to dunk on their whole families, Adams’ push shot sees him stop in his tracks before he even makes contact with a defender, then lobs up a little drop shot over their heads.
Push shots are like a gateway drug to real jumpshots. What if Adams started shooting jumpshots and turned into, like, Mehmet Okur? You can see why I want him to blast the rim with earth-shattering whamblams rather than floating up wimpy little floaters.
I am not a resident of New Zealand, but if I was, I would boycott this video on account of it not containing enough slam dunks. I recommend all New Zealanders who are watching this video to do the same. Meanwhile, in solidarity with the people of New Zealand, I will make a concerted effort to cause entire species of birds to go extinct. I’m pretty sure I have birds living in the walls of my place and if they were extinct that would go a long way to restoring my peace of mind.