I feel like I’m the only one here who truly believes that John Collins was snubbed for the All-Star game. Maybe it’s because I’m sitting here making sick highlight videos for him pretty much every game, but it’s fairly apparent to me that Collins is ALREADY, in just his second year in the league, a total stud when it comes to scoring the ball and grabbing rebounds. And, last time I checked, the only thing you need to do to make an All-Star team is accumulate a lot of pretty-looking counting stats. Defense is not taken into consideration for All-Star teams unless you’re Roy Hibbert.
Well, I take that back. I’m not the only one who believes Collins got snubbed. Collins himself believes it, as evidenced by this seemingly unsent letter that I hacked from his Google Drive.
“Dear Adam Silver,
You and I both know I should have be an All-Star. The stats clearly paint me as a top three player at my position in the conference. It is unfortunate that the voters took into account such irrelevancies as team success and defense when casting their votes.
In order to embarrass the voters, and you, as the ringleader of this whole corrupt operation, I plan to get a career high in points when I play my next game, which will be against the Phoenix Suns. My dominance will be so thorough and merciless that all who witness it will wonder how a player so skilled could have been so obviously snubbed. They will turn to you for answers, but answers you will have none, because there is no rationale, no explanation, for how I have been treated. Shame will burn in your heart like a raging wildfire.
I hate you. With every fiber of my being, with every molecule that comprises my earthly body, I truly, deeply, hate you.
-John Collins, All Star Snub”