Lauri Markkanen 30 Points Full Highlights (2/6/2019)

Normally I would be getting on Lauri Markkanen’s case for making a layup with two seconds left in a game that was obviously going to be a loss. Not because of any feeble argument about “sportsmanship” (a concept which does not encompass whining about players playing until the end of the game), but because I made this video under false pretenses.

Markkanen really only scored 28 points in this game. The two points at the end of the game came in “garbage time”, which, logically, should have its own separate box-score since it is played differently from the rest of the game. I would still be glad to make a 28-point highlight video for Markkanen, but it wouldn’t be second in my list of videos to make for a particular evening. It would be more like third or fourth on my list.

You can see why I would feel deceived about this. Markkanen egregiously statpadded at the end of this game in order to make his final point total more appealing to YouTube-based highlight creators such as myself. The fact that these young players emphasize highlight videos more than playing an honest game of basketball is sickening to me.

That’s why I’m just filing the incorporation documents for a new basketball league where stats accumulated after the game is out of reach for either team are listed in a separate box-score. I’m also the first player-coach-gm-commissioner in basketball history. Suck it, nerds.

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