DTB has been pandering to Serbs for a long time. Whether it is by acknowledging their rich culture, their bloody yet brave history, the unbelievable attractiveness of their women, the stout handsomeness of their men, their unrivaled passion for the sportsmen and sportswomen of their country, the bountiful natural beauty of their lands, the high quality of their country’s livestock, the disciplined fury of their military, the academically rigorous school system, their superior fashion sense, or their ability to appreciate the past while looking boldly into the future, I have the market cornered on making Serbs feel special.
So I do not appreciate it at all when the Nuggets broadcast decides to show a Serbian flag being waved in the Denver crowd. I have the market cornered on the concept of pandering to Serbs. I basically invented it. For other outlets to steal my techniques for Serbian goodwill is not only unethical, it’s probably illegal too. I’m not a lawyer, but I am very capable of reading message board posts on law-related forums and then twisting them in my head to make them mean what I want. That’s how I know that showing the Serbian flag on Nuggets broadcasts is illegally infringing on my monoply of Serb-pandering.
I forgot to mention that Serbian cuisine is way better than any other so-called European cuisine (read: “slop on a plate”), and that Serbian music is a tantalizing combination of new sounds with old motifs. And Serbian architecture, while perhaps having gone through a low period in the post-WWII era, is actually really awesome when compared to stupid American architecture. Also Nikola Jokic should be MVP for the next ten years and nobody can change my mind.