Right now the Bucks are playing but I’m not even watching the game because I’m still playing catchup on the ungodly amount of highlight videos I have to make from the previous day’s games. That’s right. The man known to the world as DownToBuck is actually more like DownToObsessivelyMakeHighlightVideosUntilHePassesOut. Luckily for all my legions of fans, I’m nowhere close to passng out right now. I am mostly alert and at least 75% lucid. My video descriptions might be flagging in quality, but my ability to edit together highlight videos is baked into my brainstem, so I’ll keep plugging away at it.
I’m not sure who was commentating this game alongside Mr. Bland Man (can’t be bothered to look up his name right now), but he mentioned that Portis has small hands and can’t catch balls as cleanly as some other players. I never noticed that Portis has midget hands, but it causes me to wonder: would it be frowned upon to get finger-lengthening surgery in order to improve one’s ball-catching ability? Somebody like Portis could easily take the extra tissue present in his eyeballs and have it transplanted onto his hands.
I’m, again, too lazy to look up whether finger-lenthening is even feasible or if any legit doctors even offer it. It’s just fun to think about a free-agent Bobby Portis pitching his services to teams by showing off his mutant fingers.