Jacob Evans 11 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (4/9/2019)

Attention bandwagon Warriors fans: Jacob Evans is a player on the Warriors. That means it is your duty, as a Warriors fan, to get unreasonably hyped for him despite the fact that he has shown almost nothing in the NBA. It is also your duty to utter the following phrases towards anybody who insinuates that you are a fairweather bandwagon fan who only likes the Warriors since Curry started being an MVP and who secretly has tons of Lakers stuff hidden in his closet for when the Lakers are good again:

-“Jacob Evans is going to be a big piece going forward” (this makes it sound like you care about the future of the franchise)
-“Jacob Evans has played very well in the G-League this season, he deserves rotation minutes” (this implies that you watch G-League games [you don’t] and that you understand rotations enough to make suggestions on how they should be changed [you also don’t])
-“Jacob Evans is another example of the Warriors front office finding gems in the late first round and the second round” (in reality, you can’t name any draft picks the Warriors have made since Draymond Green, but you hope nobody calls you out on it)
-“Jacob Evans has underrated court vision” (this is subjective so it can’t be definitely disproven, plus it makes you sound like you know what you’re talking about – perfect for a dirty bandwagoner like yourself)
-“Klay is a great mentor for Jacob Evans” (by demonstrating your knowledge that Klay Thompson and Jacob Evans play roughly the same position, you hope to trick people into thinking you’re a real fan)

If you say all of the things above, with a little sprinkling of Marcus Derrickson references for flavor, you will successfully convince anybody you are conversing with that you are a true Warriors fan who is committed to the franchise no matter how successful they are, and not just a trend-hopping piece of human refuse.

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