Zhaire Smith 11 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (4/9/2019)

The Philadelphia 76ers have had extraordinarily bad luck regarding their draft picks and injuries. Joel Embiid, Ben Simmons, and Markelle Fultz were all high draft choices that missed some or all of their respective rookie seasons due to injuries to various body parts. It’s gotten to the point where some fans jokingly (or not-so-jokingly) refer to the “Philly Rookie Curse”, which is similar to the “Kings Rookie Curse” that was active for the better part of the last decade, except it refers to rookies being injured instead of rookies sucking at basketball.

Zhaire Smith can be added to the list of names snared by the curse. He did something bad to his foot (sources tell me that he stepped on a rusty nail, got tetanus, and had his foot replaced with a bionic equivalent) before the season started and is just now getting back on the court. It’s probably too late for him to establish himself as a part of the Sixers’ playoff rotation, but he at least got to play a little bit.

Since the 76ers obviously don’t want to draft hospital patients with all of their picks, I recommend a different strategy for their next draft choice: pick me. My game is low-impact enough where I can’t possibly get injured. I don’t jump. I don’t dunk. I don’t make hard cuts. I don’t change direction very fast. I don’t go outside. All the things that NBA players do to get injured, I don’t do any of those things. I might not be very effective on the court as a 5’9″ pure shooter who can’t dribble without looking at the ball and has no court awareness, and who also looks like a skeleton with long hair, but I can guarantee that I won’t blow out my knees or my feet or have psychosomatic thoracic whatever syndrome.

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