Jordan Bell 15 Points Full Highlights (4/10/2019)

Jordan Bell recently drew headlines for getting suspended by the Warriors due to “conduct detrimental to the team”. There was a lot of speculation on what the conduct could be before the full story came out. Did he punch out Kevin Durant? Did he punch out Draymond Green? Did he punch out Steve Kerr? Did he miss the team bus one too many times? There are a lot of behaviors that are unacceptable for NBA players to exhibit; Bell seemed like a good candidate for showing many of them.

In the end, it turns out he purchased something at a hotel and put it on an assistant coach’s (Mike Brown, remember him???? LMAO) bill. That’s kind of funny, since I just assumed that the team would cover whatever the heck you purchased at the team hotel (up to and including those fifty-dollar bottles of Fiji water that look SO DAMN GOOD when you straggle into your hotel room and just need something to drink after being trapped in an Uber for an hour while your driver took the insanest possible route from the airport). Why would Bell need to obfuscate his purchases?

Everyone immediately jumped to the same conclusion: porn. He was buying that in-room porn straight through the TV. Personally, I don’t believe that was the case. For one, I don’t even see that pay-per-view erotica very often anymore (maybe I’m staying at the wrong hotels). For another, he’s an NBA player. He doesn’t need porn because he gets free poontang every where he goes. And doesn’t he have the internet? Even free porn viewed on an iPhone has got to be better than the barely-hardcore schlock peddled by the hotels.

My guess is that he ordered way too much room service and didn’t want people to know how much of a fatty he is. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.

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