This video stands as the penultimate section of the upcoming “Vince Carter All 878 Dunks Full Highlights (1998-2020 Career Dunkilation)” video. I’m presuming that he dunks it at least one time during this season (though that’s not a given, since ACL integrity decreases exponentially with age such that by the time he’s 46 years old he’s at a 50-50 chance to tear it every time he gets up out of a chair), otherwise, this is the final section of the dunkilation. Also, that 878 number is an estimation; we do not have dunk totals from his first few seasons, the seasons where he was at his most youthful and thus most likely to dunk it every single chance he got.
Sadly, it will not be me providing you with this full-career dunk compilation (“Dunkilation”). As much as I wish that I could undertake such a project, I lack the comprehensive NBA game archive that would be needed to make sure that EVERY SINGLE dunk was cataloged. Sure, I could cobble together clips from the internet to get a pretty decent picture of his dunkage, but it would be a faded impersonation of the true dunkilation. And besides, such a thing has already been done: if you haven’t watched MaxaMillion711’s “Vince Carter Top 100 Dunks” video a thousand times, can you even call yourself an NBA fan?
No, it would have to be the NBA itself creating such a video, unless they open up their stalactite and stalagmite encrusted game-film reel archive that is literally located in a cave to enterprising highlight creators such as myself. I have received no indication from them, through either official or unofficial channels, that they are working on it. My direct inquiries to Adam Silver have been met with complete silence. And it’s not like I was rude or anything. I was very respectful. Me calling him a bat-looking shiny-headed freak was simply my way of expressing my frustration at the situation. What isn’t very respectful is the fact that the Bucks season-ticket representative I was talking to on the phone wouldn’t even promise to direct my demand of a Vince Carter full-career dunkilation to even her direct supervisor. Like, excuse me, you have no right to say to me “I’m sorry sir, I cannot help with you with your [sic] duckle shun” when I’m the internationally-known NBA highlights mogul and you’re the wage slave trapped in a cubicle begging fans to upgrade their season ticket packages so that you can meet your unreasonably high sales quotas. And it’s not a “duckle shun”. It’s a “dunkilation”.
It could be that they’re working on it in secret and don’t want to give any clues of its existence until they spring it on the world unannounced. I would understand that, but they could at least acknowledge my persistent multi-paragraph (because if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s writing multiple paragraphs) DMs to the NBA League Pass support official Twitter account with a simple “No comment”.
However, there is good news on this subject, despite the somewhat negative tone of the last few paragraphs. On a whim, I checked out MaxaMillion711’s YouTube channel, and I pretty much am freaking out because he has videos purporting to show ALL of Carter’s dunks from the 98-99 season to the 01-02 season. Four seasons of dunks, probably the hardest footage to obtain, who even frickin’ needs the NBA or DownToBuck? This dude has us covered, and once you’re done watching this one, go watch those. Of course, you’ve probably already watched them and I’m just super behind (though the most recent was uploaded a mere THREE DAYS ago as of the time of this writing), but I know what I’m doing for the next hour or so. Queuing up those vids, cracking open one of my last remaining vintage cans of Surge (the amount of money I could make on these babies selling them on Ebay is NOTHING compared to the nostalgia value of once again letting the delicate flavors of my favorite childhood soft drink delight my tastebuds), sitting back, and enjoying.
We only get one more year of primo VC action. The guy who was so good that they named a whole fake currency after him for use in NBA-related video games, gone forever after this season. Maybe he will still dunk after his retirement, but those dunks will count for nothing. I promise not to get too sentimental when the day comes to say farewell; I still remember him quitting on the Suns and all the goodwill he’s built up by not ringchasing can’t really undo that. But for those of you prone to sentimentality, I will allow you a few tears. Not too many though. It’s just basketball, after all.