I keep telling myself it’s early in the season. I keep telling myself that [insert number of games] is too small a sample size to start making rash decisions on who and who isn’t allowed to be represented in the glorious halls of DTB scrubdom. I keep telling myself that other players will start taking more shots soon. I keep telling myself that Jennifer will eventually realize what a horrible mistake she’s made and will come back to me so that the two sundered halves can be reformed into a complete whole once again.
But the fact of the matter is, Jennifer’s never coming back into my life, and also Shai Gilgeous-Alexander is being way too much of a beast this year. I watched the first half of this game with my own eyes (before turning it off so I could start making highlights) and the beastage was already in full effect. Not only was SGA hitting his rainbow three-pointers that cause Dirk to smile in his grave, but he, for the first time this season, notched a DTB-qualifying amount of assists with six. When he found Nerlens Noel with the nifty pass for the mega mash, I almost mega mashed my fist through the monitor. Then, to ease the pain of Mike Muscala playing like not-garbage for the first time in probably the past three years, I mega mashed leftover Halloween candy into my mouth without even unwrapping it.
The point is, there’s a difficult decision coming up for me. To continue featuring SGA on my channel or to let him spread his wings and fly out of my nest into FreeDawkins’ nest. Maybe I should make a new Patreon benefit where if you donate $25 per month you get to make those decisions for me. Then I wouldn’t have to deal with the stress and I’d be making more money.