Dwight Powell had it rolling, scoring 24 points in the first three quarters of this game. He conclusively showed that KAT stands for “Kan’t Actually Tryondefense”. Not only did Powell terrorize the Timberpuppies with his scoring prowess, but his statline was overflowing with other stats that I was too lazy to show in this video: 5 rebounds, 4 assists, 2 blocks, 1 steal.
Then Powell suffered what was allegedly an “arm contusion” near the end of the game and accumulated no stats at all in the fourth quarter. I haven’t actually watched footage of this supposed injury, which I’m sure was convincing enough to the average simpleton watching the game live, but it’s clear to me what’s going on here:
Timberwolves coach Ryan Saunders personally paid Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle a large amount of cash right from his pocket during a timeout. He paid just as large an amount to Powell himself. These bribes were to convince them all to buy into his face-saving plan: Powell would fake an injury so that KAT’s fragile psyche wouldn’t have to deal with the continued torment of an opposing big man having a career night against him. Saunders was forced to do this because KAT spent the entire break between the third and fourth quarters with tears streaming down his face and holding tightly onto Saunders for comfort. While the tears were being shed, Josh Okogie was trying to calm KAT down by offering him pieces of candy from the candy bucket on the scorer’s table.
But it wouldn’t be enough to just not play Powell in the fourth quarter. KAT would realize that something fishy was going on, with the team’s leading scorer not even playing during those crucial minutes. That’s why the fake injury was orchestrated. With an “arm contusion” (which isn’t even a real injury, by the way), Carlisle had a perfect reason to not allow Powell to score any more points or catch any more alley-oops.
Now that I’m a whistleblower blowing the whistle on the corruption that has corrupted the NBA to its very core, can somebody please pay me some money to keep my mouth shut and delete this description? I accept personal checks, cash, Patreon donations, PayPal, and Bitcoin.