Everyone talks all about all the All-Star players that the Oklahoma City Thunder had and then didn’t have anymore, but when those talks are happening, no one remembers to bring up Domantas Sabonis. The circumstances are slightly different in his case when compared with James Harden or Kevin Durant, because the Thunder actually got a legit superstar for him (Paul George, in case you’re like me and can’t remember any trade that is more recent than a week ago).
The circumstances are also slightly different in that Sabonis is not actually an All-Star yet. But he will be, in about a month. I’ve whipped up some custom All-Star voting scripts which stuff the electronic ballot box with endless votes for Sabonis. It wasn’t even that hard, and now I’m voting for him literally billions of times per day. The NBA, when they released their preliminary voting results, didn’t include him, presumably because he is so ludicrously ahead of everyone else that they didn’t want other players to feel sad. But make no mistake, Sabonis is winning the fan vote by a landslide thanks to me.
I also have some secondary scripts running that are currently voting nonstop for D.J. Wilson. For the MEMES.
The reason I’m so invested in seeing Sabonis make the All-Star game is twofold. Fold one: I want the Thunder fanbase to suffer, knowing that they once had Sabonis but let him go (along with Victor Oladipo) for a short-term rental of a superstar who never really wanted to be there. I don’t even hate the Thunder or their fans; I just love misery. It makes me feel less alone. Fold two: the sooner Sabonis makes an All-Star game, the sooner I get to stop wasting my time with all these highlights of him. He is just way too good.