OFFICIAL DTB DISCLAIMER: In this game, De’Andre Hunter made more free throws (9) than he made field goals (6). That is a sure recipe to end up with a lackluster highlight video, and as it turns out, that’s exactly what we have here. There’s a bit of excitement towards the end when Hunter starts pouring on the points to get the Hawks within striking distance of the Sixers, but the lead up to that is a total snorefest. There are probably five or ten De’Andre Hunter highlight videos currently uploaded to my channel that would be more worth your time.
As punishment for forcing me to spend my valuable time making a highlight video that has way too many free throws in it, I am hereby forcing De’Andre Hunter to wear the DownToBuck Dunce Cap of Disappointment (or DDCD for short). Hunter will have to wear this headwear until such a time as he has a legitimately good in-game performance that deserves a highlight video, as long as it doesn’t involve too many free throws. Since I am a benevolent dictator, I won’t force Hunter to wear it during games (it would screw up his shooting form to have a big tall cap in the way). But he has to wear it the rest of the time. Including on the bench.
I have magicked the DownToBuck Dunce Cap of Disappointment so that its presence on the wearer’s head afflicts the wearer with fatigue, sadness, and self-doubt. It also whispers things to the wearer in a sinister voice. Things like “I shouldn’t shoot so many free throws” and “I should only shoot jumpers so I don’t get fouled”. I am a highly-skilled caster of magic spells so putting these kinds of enchantments on wearable items is ez pz for me. My only concern is that shipping it through the postal service will set off some kind of warning because its aura is so powerful that it will break the scanning machinery. The dunces at the post office will probably think it’s an X-Ray tube or something and destroy it. For the DDCD to fail to reach its intended recipient wouldn’t be an insurmountable setback, since I can always cast more magic spells, but sourcing the dunce cap itself is a challenge. I had to shell out big bucks on Amazon to get that thing.
If you want a magical dunce cap of your own to torment your enemies with, I’m selling them for just $1,000 each. More if you want custom spells/custom sayings on your cap.