As I collect clip after endless clip from the Pacers-Grizzlies game, I can feel my will to live draining out of my body and into my carpet. “Curse you Darren Collison, curse you…” I hoarsely croak, but even in the face of this adversity, I know that a highlight video must be made. Another spate…
Read MoreAuthor: downtobuck
Ben Simmons 18 Points/10 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
OFFICIAL PLAYERS WHO SHOULD HAVE DEFERRED REBOUNDS TO BEN SIMMONS SO HE COULD GET A TRIPLE-DOUBLE POWER RANKINGS: 1. J.J. Redick. What are you doing getting eight rebounds man? You’re old and you have T-Rex arms. 2. Dario Saric. Soft euros aren’t allowed to get rebounds. 3. Robert Covington. Just because you got paid doesn’t…
Read MoreKyle Kuzma 24 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Showing replays of fouls that aren’t made shots is generally a waste of time for everybody involved. It’s a waste of time for you, it’s a waste of time for me, and it’s a waste of time for my kitty Japurri Purrker when he’s waiting for me to finish making highlight videos so I can…
Read MoreBrandon Ingram Career High 26 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Brandon Ingram is so skinny that he could pass for one of those Thinspiration models, and it looks like he’s allergic to the very concept of weight rooms, but he actually had some powerful finishes through contact in this game, so it really doesn’t matter how many protein shakes he doesn’t drink, does it? I…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 19 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Is Donovan Mitchell the reason Ricky Rubio is so underwhelming lately? Like, Rubio saw him constantly taking and making all these tough shots and he thought “why even try I’ve been in the league for years and I can’t even come close to doing this stuff”. It wouldn’t surprise me if that was the case….
Read MoreShabazz Napier 19 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Shabazz “Shabazzledazzle” Napier has been marginalized for almost his whole time in Portland. If that’s even the right word. Either way, hard to get minutes when you’ve got an All-Star ironman playing ahead of you at your position. Every minute Lillard isn’t in the game for the Blazers feels like wasted time. Just like with…
Read MoreMichael Kidd-Gilchrist 22 Points/5 Jumpshots Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Michael Kidd-Gilchrist’s jumpshot form is still totally borked. I think it’s as borked as it was when he came into the league, maybe a little better. Remember when Mark Price fixed it? I bet as soon as he left the gym Kidd-Gilchrist automatically reverted to his old ways. Nothing to be done about it now….
Read MoreAvery Bradley 28 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
I’m gonna be honest: once the Pistons got off to that 7-0 start against the Bucks, I turned off the TV, stood up, and went outside. Went for a walk. Life is too short to spend it watching some huge dudes put a ball in a hoop, especially if my geographically-selected huge dudes aren’t even…
Read MoreKhris Middleton 27 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Khris “Khobe” Middleton is off to his usual slow start. Except it’s even slower than usual. Other than that 43 point game and maybe one other, he’s been straight booty. Is he out of shape? Rhetorical question. Yes. He is out of shape, he must be, because he looks a half-step slow so far. Too…
Read MoreDewayne Dedmon Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2017)
Dewayne “Jumpin’ Jehovah” Dedmon just had a new career high just a few games ago, scoring 19, and no one cared. Well, 1600 of you cared at least a little bit, but that’s not many in the grand scheme of things. But this is one more point than that! So I expect 1700 carers, probably…
Read More