Gordon Hayward 17 Points Full Highlights (12/23/12)

I have received from sources inside the Hayward family an authentic copy of Gordon Hayward’s Christmas list. Some classy ties – Nordstrom brand preferably – no crazy pattern crap Spalding NeverFlat basketball New Alienware Gaming rig with Starcraft II preinstalled Razer Naga Epic Elite MMO Gaming Mouse Summoning – “Sounds of Middle-Earth” picture LP boxset…

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Robin Lopez 24 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (12/22/2012)

Fun Fact: Did you know that Robin Lopez meets Arizona’s legal definition of being mentally disabled? It’s true, and you can totally see it in his eyes. He looks confused all the time, and when he does something wrong he looks around at his teammates like “I know I did something wrong but I don’t…

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Evan Fournier 8 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (12/22/2012)

20th overall pick Evan Fournier of the Nuggets is probably a total beast, but we will never know, since he doesn’t get any playing time in coach Karl’s extremely tight rotation. You know that if even Anthony “Wilt 2.0” Randolph fails to step on the court, a pasty little French person has no chance. I…

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Lance Stephenson 16 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/21/2012)

It must be nice to be named after a weapon. You can intimidate people without doing anything at all. “Oh, there’s goes Lance, I hope he doesn’t punch me. I heard he punches guys without warning.” Imagine how fearsome the Pacers would be if, in addition to Lance, they had Knife Granger, Rifle Plumlee and…

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Luke Babbitt 14 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2012)

Luke “Babbers” Babbitt is what some people might call a “three-point specialist”. I would say the most apt comparison for him is a white(r) Matt Bonner. He scored 14 points against the bricktastic Nuggets, a game notable for being the last NBA contest of the 3rd age of man. As you know, today, December 21st,…

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Greg Monroe Career High 35 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2012)

While most teams are happy just to have a center with full use of their arms and legs (sorry Oden), the Pistons are blessed to have a center that not only possesses that quality, but several other positive qualities as well: ballerina-esque footwork, a midrange game, punishing post play, and a manic pursuit of rebounds….

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Tyler Zeller Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2012)

I wonder what kind of inter-sibling rivalry the Zeller brothers have. Speaking as someone with 2 brothers, FullOfBulls and FeelTheHeat, there can be a lot of tense times when competition is involved. For example, FullOfBulls is regularly defacing these descriptions. (FullofBulls was here DownToBuck is a LOSER) Anyway, Tyler Zeller has shown himself to be…

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Gerald Green 21 Points Full Highlights (12/19/2012)

Gerald “Cupcake” Green has not had a good start to the season with the Pacers. The pressure in Indianapolis is just so much greater than in New York or Boston. Every move noted by raving paparazzi. Big-city thugs waiting to break your kneecaps. 100K hookers doing lines off your chest. Indianapolis is a dangerous place,…

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Dorell Wright 25 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/18/2012)

There was a time when Dorell Wright was the NBA’s premier three-point shooter. Not in terms of percentages, but just in terms of amount of threes taken. Then, somebody decided to put him in the three-point contest, where Dorell performed horribly. I’m pretty sure that ruined his career right there. He hasn’t been the same…

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Joakim Noah Triple Double (11 Points, 13 Rebounds, 10 Assists) Full Highlights (12/18/2012)

Joakim “Headshop” Noah is widely regarded as one of the NBA’s best passing bigmen. He also enjoys recreational marijuana use. He likes passing the bong as much as he likes passing the rock. Against the Celtics he passed the rock 10 times to willing teammates, while also scoring 11 points and grabbing 13 boards, for…

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