Jeremy Lamb 14 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2013)

Am I the only one who thinks it would be totally rad for the Thunder arena people to play “Mary had a Little Lamb” every time Jeremy Lamb makes a shot? I am? Screw you guys then, I will maintain until my dying breath that that is an awesome idea. I mean, the Portland dudes…

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Jon Leuer Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2013)

Pop quiz time: Which promising rookie did the Bucks trade for a rental of a crappy veteran? If you answered Tobias Harris, I don’t blame you, it’s my fault for wording the question ambiguously. But the real answer is Jon Leuer, who was traded as part of a package for Sam Dalembert. The pain never…

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Gordon Hayward 29 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

My source within the Hayward family has again furnished me with a copy of Gordon’s christmas wish list, which is presented here in its entirety. 24 pack of Monster energy drink Logitech G19s USB Gaming Keyboard with adjustable color GamePanel LCD and custom color backlighting Spalding NeverFlat basketball – mine went flat Hot Pockets –…

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Mike Dunleavy 23 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Mike Dunleavy, in the least combative manner possible, walked up to teammate Taj Gibson after the game. He began awkwardly, “Listen, Taj, Booz just gave me the rundown on the whole situation. If I had known you were in the game, I definitely would never have porked Caroline.” Giving him a dirty look, Taj responded,…

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Maurice Harkless 16 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

There was a ton of hype last year about Mo Harkless. He was gonna be part of the new young core that the Magic had. All-Star potential? Of course. That second part seems kind of weird now, but the first part is happening I guess. But with each year that passes, the Magic get further…

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Alec Burks 21 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Now that Alec Burks and Trey Burke are on the same team, we obviously need to come up with a nickname for this tandem. However, since they aren’t yet known for any particular skill (dunking, shooting threes, blocking shots), the only thing we have to go by is their similar names. Here is my list…

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Ryan Anderson Career High 36 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

Ryan Anderson is a maniac. A total maniac. This is evidenced by the fact that he’s taken 126 shots while only accumulating 3 assists. Any other player in the league does that, they would get crucified. Literally crucified. NBA fans are dedicated. But Anderson gets a pass because his shooting is otherworldly right now. When…

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DeMarre Carroll 17 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2013)

I’m in the process of writing the Final for this semester’s class. I hope you guys all have been paying attention and taking good notes, because this one’s gonna be a doozy. All short answer, plus one or two essay questions. None of that multiple choice crap. Plus its closed-book, so no cheap Google help…

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Patrick Patterson 18 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

“I’m going to need to take a little break here, Patrick. Nature calls,” said Kings GM Pete D’Alessandro, interrupting the meeting with his player. As D’Alessandro left the room to make a visit to his personal toilet, Patrick Patterson twiddled his thumbs idly. The phone on the desk rang. Patrick stared at it for a…

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Ryan Anderson 31 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/1/2013)

Ryan Anderson crept stealthily through the unlit halls of Madison Square Garden, making his way to the court. He had encountered surprisingly little resistance, aside from the security guard on the roof. The Garden was very confusing in the total darkness. After several wrong turns and excursions into bathrooms and concessions areas, Anderson found the…

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