Ben Gordon 16 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2014)

One of the most head-scratching contracts of the season was given out by the Orlando Magic, when they signed Ben Gordon to a 2-year, 9 million dollar deal. Not as bad as it seems, since the second year isn’t guaranteed, but come on. That’s a lot of dough for a known cancerous chucker. Like most…

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Nerlens Noel Career High 19 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2014)

Fresh off one of the worst performances of the season for any player (0 for 8, 5 turnovers), Nerlens Noel decided that enough was enough, and he was going to score some points. Somehow. He doesn’t have the greatest arsenal of offensive moves at this point, though this video would do a good job convincing…

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Kelly Olynyk Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (12/15/2014)

Kelly Olynyk looked at the instrument with awe. He had imagined something like this only in his wildest fantasms, yet here it was, resplendent in its own glory. It seemed a bit out of place, here, at Kamloops Mega Storage, a far cry from the sun-dappled hillsides which he had imagined, but what did it…

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Dante Cunningham 13 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

Dante “Crafty Pork” Cunningham found himself out of the league for a little bit while he dealt with some false domestic abuse charges. Well, soon he might again find himself out of a job once the cops get wind of his fondness for “defender abuse”. I actually called up the local police and told them…

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Justin Hamilton 10 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

“Ten points isn’t really enough for highlights,” the inner voice says to me as I scroll through all of the day’s performers on Basketball-Reference. “Find somebody else.” Then, before I can stop it, even before I realize what my own hands are doing, I’m gathering clips from the Heat-Bulls game. “What are you doing, man?”…

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Arron Afflalo 31 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

Arron Afflalo lay prone upon the grass outside the Pepsi Center. Cold raindrops splashed on his face, but he paid them no attention. “Hey, Arron!” It was Nate Robinson, who was walking across the lawn towards him. “Why are you looking so down? You did great tonight, my man.” Arron sighed dramatically. “The suffocating veil…

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Carlos Boozer 22 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

Why does Carlos Boozer yell so much? He yells at everything on the court, no matter what it is. Person driving into the paint? Just yell “AAAAAAAAAHHHH” at him and point rather than defending. Driving to the basket yourself? If anybody grazes your body, or even if they don’t: “AAAAHHH!!’ Sitting on the bench? Provide…

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Tyler Ennis 11 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

I made these highlights more for me than for you guys. I was having a hard time keeping TJ Warren and Tyler Ennis straight in my head. And now I think I’ve got it! Ennis is a black dude, and so is Warren, but Warren is a lot blacker looking. Easy to remember. Also I…

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Andre Iguodala 20 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

Andre Iguodala hasn’t been the same this season. At all. He was a stud last year according to RAPM. One of the best players in the league going by that metric. What happened to turn that guy into this half-dead guy we see now? Is he injured? Did he really like Mark Jackson and quit…

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Mike Dunleavy 22 Points Full Highlights (12/14/2014)

Mike Dunleavy lay in bed, content after another victory on the basketball court. He looked over to the vague lump that was the sleeping form of his wife, Caroline, who had surrounded herself most of the sheets in her usual manner. Dunleavy didn’t mind. A lady as fine as Caroline should have all the sheets…

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