Zach Randolph 25 Points/13 Rebounds Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Checking his red polo shirt in the reflection of his car window, Zach Randolph smoothed out the creases and took a deep breath. Walking around to the back of the Krispy Kreme store, he found the service entrance. Sure that it would be locked, he tested the handle, which turned easily in his hand. Having…

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Lance Thomas 14 Points Thunder Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Ancient Assyrians and Parthians understood the advantage that could be gained in warfare by arming their mounted units with spears, or “lances”. Their insights into the art of war motivated the legendary Greek and Roman empires to try a similar tactic in combat, and Alexander the Great’s elite “Companion Cavalry” wreaked havoc on Persian and…

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Shabazz Muhammad 13 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Shabazz Muhammad better be writing a thank-you card to Kevin Martin for spraining his ankle. With that guy and his 30 MPG out of the picture, enough minutes opened up for Shabazz to show that he can actually, maybe, sort of contribute to high-quality basketball…a little bit? Once, a long time ago, one of my…

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Kyle Korver 20 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that Kyle Korver has stolen multiple girlfriends from me, using his unbeatable combination of wealth, prestige, and handsomeness to woo away multiple girls who swore they loved me. All it takes is one glimpse of his face on the TV and they run off like they’re gonna reenact…

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Doug McDermott 12 Points/1 Dunk Bulls Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

With a new NBA season comes my obligation to update my various player power rankings. The “maniacal-est chucker” and “stumpiest legs” lists alike need to be amended. First one on the docket: “most punchable face”. Luckily plastic surgery is not common among NBA players, so the bulk of the work went into assigning rookies their…

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Isaiah Thomas 23 Points/5 Threes Suns Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

At one point, though it has mostly died down, there was a lot of hype for the “Giannis Antetokounmpo as a point guard” concept. He represents a departure from the NBA of old, a utopist future of “positionless basketball”. I don’t see why Isaiah Thomas can’t be part of that future too. The Suns have…

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Kelly Olynyk 19 Points Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Kelly Olynyk stood and watched the bus roll away. “BC Express – Canada’s finest discount transportation providers since 1973”. Sighing slightly, he picked up his duffel bags, readjusted his backpack and started walking down the main street of Kamloops, British Columbia. His great size attracted many curious stares, though no real recognition. Kamloops wasn’t really…

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Alexey Shved 18 Points/5 Assists 76ers Debut Full Highlights (10/29/2014)

Alexey Shved was not a great player last year for the Timberwolves. And when I say “not great” I mean “quite awful, as if he had been navigating the seedy drug underworld of Yakutsk during timeouts”. Despite not building on the semi-successes of his rookie year, there was some optimism for him coming into this…

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Devin Harris 17 points/5 Assists Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

First night of the season and I’m already disappointed. Would it have been so hard for the Mavs to trot out some exciting young talent last night? I watch Dirk with the knowledge that he’s going to disintegrate soon. I need fresh faces to keep those thoughts in the background. Looking at their roster, never…

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Terrence Jones 16 Points Full Highlights (10/28/2014)

An annual pastime of a basketball fan is participating in “bold prediction” discussions. This is where fans display their homerism by pegging their awful team for a playoff berth or auguring by the birds in the sky that their favorite scrubby player will score 20 a game. Conversely, predictions not involving their favorite team tend…

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