Lou Williams 16 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2014)

“Hey, Lou, what are you dressed up like that for?” Paul Millsap asked, looking his teammate up and down in disbelief. “Nobody looks like that going to the club.” Lou Williams, looking dapper in a navy-blue turtleneck, skinny black jeans, and tinted glasses, laughed airily. The small silver chain around his neck jangled. “I’m not…

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Giannis Antetokounmpo All 61 Dunks Full Highlights (2013-14 Rookie Season Dunkilation)

If you ever wondered what Giannis Antetokounmpo looks like dunking the basketball, well, prepare for enlightenment. Every dunk from his rookie campaign, all 61 of them, is presented here in chronological order. No word in the English language, or any language for that matter, contained within its meaning enough power and elegance to adequately describe…

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Robin Lopez 17 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

I would pay so much money just to have five seconds alone with Robin Lopez’s afro. I would commit wholly lewd and inappropriate acts with that thing. It just looks so fluffy and soft, like a cute little bunny, but it’s also simmering with eroticism, like a cheap hooker. If I even grazed my finger…

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Jonas Valanciunas 16 Points Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas opened his desk drawer and rummaged through the assorted documents until he found what he was looking for: a crumpled, stained sheet of plain notebook paper. At the top of page was found the title, “Kill List”. The large Lithuanian scanned down the list of names, a list which encompassed all of the…

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Wesley Matthews 27 Points/5 Threes/3 Blocks Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

Adam Silver paced his office frantically. A few high-ranking NBA executives sat in the office with him, glancing at each other uneasily. “We have to do something to distract the viewers from the Sterling debacle.” Silver finally pronounced, continuing to tread the same path between his desk and the window. “Something bold, but not too…

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Mirza Teletovic 17 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

Normally the first round of the playoffs is the round to skip. Boring matchups, tons of blowouts, yawn. But not this year. Game after game of overtimes and clutch shots, blown leads and unlikely heroes. Except for one series everything has been fun. Next up in the series of crazy playoff happenings is the Raptors…

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Vince Carter 28 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (4/30/2014)

If your cockles of your heart aren’t warmed by the semi-resurgent play of Vince Carter, then I suggest you get your cockles checked out by your physician because they are obviously defective. I’m being serious. My uncle almost died due to cold cockles. I hope Vince can keep up what he’s been doing late in…

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Jamal Crawford 19 Points Full Highlights (4/29/2014)

I have written harsh word for Jamal Crawford in the past. And some of my criticisms are fair: for example, he is an absolute unabashed chucker with no concept of shot selection or range. For another, he definitely looks like he needs some protein shakes or something. All that cardio is no excuse for those…

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Caron Butler 15 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (4/29/2014)

Serves you right, Caron! You made a nuisance of yourself in your hometown Milwaukee and now, the team that you thought you would win a ring with is going to lose in the first round! Here’s a hint: both the Bucks and the Thunder are going to win the same amount of championships this year:…

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Mike Scott 17 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/28/2014)

If the Hawks end up losing this series I’m gonna be pissed. I, along with everyone else, want to see an upset. There’s nothing more fun than watching the Hawks’ players taking turns adding gasoline to the dumpster fire that is the Pacers. It was Mike Scott’s turn tonight. I wondered if he’d go off…

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