Wes Johnson 27 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2013)

I am disappointed in the internet. More than usual, I mean. If the internet is good for one thing it’s making me despair in new and innovative ways. But the reason for my disapproval today is this: I realized I have not seen a single joke based on the fact that the Wesley’s surname, “Johnson”,…

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Mirza Teletovic Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2013)

Mirza Teletovic is proving his haters wrong. Kind of. 18 points is pretty good. 13 rebounds, also good. Combine those two and you get a damn nice stat line. Who cares if he scored most of his points in garbage time? Nets games are almost entirely temporal trash nowadays. What you may not know about…

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Glen Davis 19 Points/1 Carved Turkey Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

“Glenny boy! I’m so glad you made it home for Thanksgiving!” gushed Glen’s mom, rushing over for a big hug. “I’m afraid the group’s a bit smaller than usual, but I still made all the fixin’s!” Glen smiled into his mother’s embrace. “I’ve been missin’ your cookin’ ever since I got drafted, ma. I could…

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CJ Watson 18 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

Remember when CJ Watson was good? Don’t lie to me. You don’t remember. CJ Watson was never “good”. He has resided squarely in the state of “okay” for his entire career. He’s probably one of the most anonymous players in the league, except for Bulls fans who wish he would come back and be their…

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Francisco Garcia 21 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

“Hey, great game Francisco,” James Harden said after the game. “It must be really cool to play so close to your home fans in Mexico.” Francisco looked irritated. “Dude, I’m from the Dominican Republic. Not Mexico.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever, same thing. Listen, my mom is looking for a great enchilada recipe to impress some guests,…

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Channing Frye 25 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

The klaxons went off without warning, startling Channing out of his cryo-sleep. The computer’s voice, usually a pleasant female tone, now bellowed in the manner of a drill sergeant: “CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE! ALIENS ABOARD THE SHIP! ALL PERSONNEL TO REPORT TO CENTRAL BAY FOR INSTRUCTIONS! CODE ORANGE! CODE ORANGE!” If Channing hadn’t already been…

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Taj Gibson Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

“I gaze at the starlit sky. Visions shimmer in my eye. What better can there in this world be Than the unity of you and me?” Taj Gibson folded up his carefully penned poem, and placed it lovingly in an envelope marked “To Caroline”. “Yo, you writing that crappy poetry again?” It was Carlos Boozer….

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Mirza Teletovic Career High 17 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

There were lots of expectations put on the Brooklyn Nets coming into the year. Playoff team. Contender. Champion. It is now apparent that any expectations that anyone had at all for the Nets were optimistic. They suck. They have injuries, sure, but what team doesn’t? The main problem, I think, is their coach, Jason Kidd….

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Ryan Anderson 21 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2013)

Dwight Howard has sucked (relatively speaking) since leaving the Magic. People can talk about “injuries” and “effort” but we all know the real reason. He doesn’t have Ryno anymore. Anderson is the ultimate floor spacer. You can’t leave him open for even a little bit. Even if you do guard him there’s a good chance…

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Andrew Nicholson 18 Points Full Highlights (11/26/2013)

Andrew “Nickles” Nicholson’s play has been so inspiring as of late that I felt compelled to write a rap about it. I’ve already got three major labels on the phone at the same time so if you aren’t a bigshot label rep don’t even leave a comment. You’ll just be embarrassing yourself. Men are at…

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