Matthew Dellavedova 14 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2013)

The Cavs are a seriously messed up team. Rather than start their 4th pick from a year ago, they decide to start an undrafted Aussie rookie with a messed up face. Waiters is rumored to have punched Irving in a dispute during a players-only meeting. Well, he should have punched Dellavedova instead. The resultant facial…

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Anthony Bennett 9 Points Full Highlights (11/23/2013)

There has been much furor on the internet over the fact that Anthony Bennett, the Cavs numero uno pick, is playing like total garbage. You know he’s bad when people are comparing him unfavorably to Olowokandi. A keen observer might notice some other clues to his unsuitableness, like his sub-15% shooting percentage and that clip…

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Samuel Dalembert 18 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

“Sam, that was a good practice. I liked your hustle out there,” Rick Carlisle told his player. “I like seeing you putting in the effort towards improving your help defense.” Samuel Dalembert smiled. “Thanks coach.” “There’s just one thing. The assistants and I agree that you could stand to lose some weight.” Sam sighed. Coach…

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Luis Scola 17 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

“Hey Luis, I was wondering if we could talk about something.” “Sure, Roy, what is it?” “Well, I was reading about this on the internet, and I knew I needed your opinion on it. What do you think about the situation surrounding the… Falkland Islands?” Luis froze. “What did you say?” “I was just wondering…

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Hollis Thompson 16 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

Hollis Thompson scored 16 points while I watched in disbelief as his blatantly tanking 76ers beat my not-so-blatantly tanking Bucks. This is a good thing for Mr. Thompson. My perception of him is now permanently colored by his performance this game. He could shoot 10% the rest of the season and I would still think…

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Jeremy Evans Career High 14 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

Stern has recently commissioned my services as an expert NBA analyst. He wishes me to tabulate a list of the most dynamic, high-flying point guard-big man duos in the league. From what I understand, this information will be used by the NBA’s marketing department in deciding who to feature in television advertisements. Without further ado,…

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Ersan Ilyasova 19 Points/6 Assists/1 Statue of Liberty Dunk Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

“Come on Ersan, this is Miami, you can’t not come out and party with us,” Larry Sanders chided. “Me and the guys are going to go hit the beaches, try to pick up some fine chicas.” Ersan waved him off. “Go without me. I need stays here and, uh…watch game tape.” Larry grabbed him by…

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Kyle Singler Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

So the Pistons have realized that starting Josh Smith with their spacing-challenged frontcourt was a bad idea and doomed to failure. They’ve taken him out of the starting line up. Shooting 5 threes on sub-30% is not the thing you want to do if you want to keep your job, I guess. And they’ve replaced…

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Caron Butler 38 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2013)

Caron Butler sucks. Do not be fooled by this expertly compiled highlight package. I’ve watched every Bucks game. He has sucked in all of them. Of all the many facets of basketball in which he displays inadequate competency, shot selection is the most glaring. He is a chucker, but not the good kind (if there…

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Jordan Hamilton 17 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2013)

Is this the year that Jordan Hamilton puts it all together? Because I feel like Nuggets fans have been waiting a pretty long time and it hasn’t really happened yet. His current status is “young player with overstated potential”. Which means that if you have a sweet trade idea you can’t include him unless LeBron…

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