Tony Parker Triple-Double 27 Points/12 Assists/12 Rebounds Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Besotted with fine Merlot and weighed down with the crunchiest of baguettes Tony Parker overcomes adversity to record his first career triple-double against the Harden-less Rockets. Despite the blurry vision that is a by-product of overimbibing he found his teammates for 12 easy buckets while also scoring 27 points and grabbing 12 rebounds. The Rockets’…

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Kevin Martin 24 Points Full Highlights (12/10/2012)

Some NBA players have poor form shooting the ball. Does anybody ever get tired of Rashard Lewis doing his little flick-shot, or Chuck Hayes seizing up at the free throw line? In Martin’s case, he shoots like a little girl, as if he lacks the arm strength to shoot the ball over his head. But…

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Eric Bledsoe 14 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/9/2012)

NBA players are a lot like pizza toppings. Kobe Bryant is pepperoni, obviously. GOAT player = Goat topping. Durant is mushrooms, both sometimes playing second fiddle to inferior companions. Eric Bledsoe is corn. The reasons for this are self-explanatory. If you are having trouble figuring this out, here’s a hint: it doesn’t have to do…

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Brandon Jennings 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/9/2012)

Brandon Jennings scored 55 points in his 7th NBA game. That’s pretty nuts, considering he hasn’t scored more than 37 since then. Now he’s just an inefficient chucker who is also used as a benchmark for other crappy shooters. Like, “Kemba Walker is shooting worse than Jennings” or “John Wall is barely a better shooter…

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Danny Green 23 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

The Spurs are a magical organization. They take other team’s discarded scrubs and transmute them into coveted role-players. Take Danny Green for example. After showing very little as a mid-second-round pick by the Cavs, he was waived and picked up by the Spurs, where he became a starter-caliber player. As the Spurs’ designated three-point launcher,…

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Lou Williams 21 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

Lou Williams led the 76ers in scoring last year despite coming off the bench. He is now scoring 14 PPG for the Hawks, also off the bench. If I was him, I’d be pissed, because somebody with his scoring ability should get to start more than forty games in an eight-year career. But you can’t…

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Jeff Green 16 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

Jeff Green. Is he good? Some, mainly Celtics fans, will say yes. Some, mainly Celtics fans, will say no. Some, mainly Lakers fans, will say “lol who is that he ain’t Kobe count tha rings bitchez”. The remainder of NBA fans will say “he’s better than Kendrick Perkins who is just a total turd”. Which…

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Michael Beasley 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

The Phoenix Suns sure love stocking up on crappy lottery picks. Wesley Johnson, Sebastian Telfair, Channing Frye. Am I missing anybody? Oh yeah, Michael Beasley. Bane of my fantasy team (I know, I know, fantasy basketball is stupid, blame peer pressure). Beasley is bad this year. So why am I doing highlights of him? I…

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Austin Rivers Career High 15 Points Full Highlights (12/8/2012)

Do you remember watching those mixes of Austin Rivers while he was in high school? I do. I remember the sick crossovers, the sick pull-up J’s, all the cool stuff. Well, now he’s in the NBA, and guess what, he kinda sucks. That doesn’t mean he’ll suck forever, but as of right now he’s not…

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Quincy Pondexter 16 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2012)

Quincy Pondexter is one of those guys, who is in the NBA, but no one really seems to know they exist. They just float in the aether of NBA scrub-dom, flitting this way and that, going from team to team, until they just silently fall out of the league after getting waived in training camp….

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