Danny Green 25 Points/7 Threes/5 Blocks Full Highlights (12/17/2014)

What do you call it when Danny comes off the bench? Green energy. What does he have when he’s on the court? A Green light. Where does he go when he wants to relax? The putting Green. What does he take with him on camping trips? The Green lantern. What are the Spurs without him?…

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Shelvin Mack Career High 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/17/2014)

Uh. Damn. The Hawks just smashed the Cavs. Hard. Hard smashing was the name of the game tonight. Right in the face. Atlanta must be really good this year or something. Doesn’t make sense at first glance. They don’t have a superstar, or even a sure-fire All-Star. Their biggest name is maybe Al Horford? I’ve…

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Enes Kanter Career High 29 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

Would you say that Enes Kanter was “bogarting” people tonight? Because that’s what the Jazz announcers seem to think he was doing. Where I come from (Wiscompton), bogarting means hogging the weed. No more, no less. There are no other definitions. You can possibly stretch to mean hogging the Doritos, or some other communal item,…

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Carl Landry 14 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

Previously I had thought that you needed to accomplish something major before you did a biceps-flexing pose. It turns out I was mistaken! As Carl Landry illustrates, even minor successes can be celebrated in this manner. For example, if you rip away a rebound from somebody, then do a drop-step and elevate six inches off…

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Rasual Butler 23 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

This is getting re-goddamn-diculous. I don’t even WANT to make Rasual Butler highlights. Nobody cares about this old man. Nobody ever did. But he scored 23 points, and he’s a total scrub, so guess what? I’m making Rasual Butler highlights. And now I’m writing a Rasual Butler description. I guess I’ll just throw some Rasual…

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Mason Plumlee 21 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

Mason Plumlee: worst free throw form in the league? Possibly. There are lot of players with awkward looking forms out there, including such luminaries as Shawn Marion and Chuck Hayes. But Plumlee’s might be the awkwardest. Mason starts it off normally, but once he gets to where he’s going to release it, his left hand…

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Ryan Anderson 28 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

“You think you can just go waltzing through our neighborhood, punk?” Ryan Anderson drifted in and out of consciousness. He could not respond, even if he had the mental acumen to do so; he was bound and gagged, laying on the rough hardwood floor of some abandoned New Orleans house. “I said, you think you…

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Dante Exum 12 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)

I’m really impressed by Dante Exum. He still isn’t taking any midrange shots, which are the bread and butter of any efficient NBA player, but his outside shot is coming along nicely. Also his ACL’s are both intact. There appears to be a psychic connection between Exum and countryman Joe Ingles, evidenced by the prescient…

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Jordan Farmar 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/15/2014)

“There he goes. He always said he was going to do it one day,” Blake Griffin said, looking up at the distant speck in the sky. “I’m going to miss him,” Glen Davis replied, also looking at the same far-away figure. “He was just a chill dude through and through.” Chris Douglas-Roberts walked out of…

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