Kris Humphries 16 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Staring blankly at his phone, Kris Humphries tried in vain to process the picture in front of him. There, looking right back at him like a grocery bag containing two watermelons, was his ex-girlfriend’s rear end. That butt was supposed to be for his and his eyes only. That had been one of their wedding-day…

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Tristan Thompson 15 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Tristan “Triscuits” Thompson is one of the players who lost out when the new big three united in Cleveland. Triscuits used to start and get big minutes; now Triscuits comes off the bench with lesser minutes. By the way, are you hungry for some TRISCUITS brand snack cracker right now? I know I am. However,…

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Kyle Singler 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Making these highlights really hurt. Every time I see the word “Singler”, it reminds me how I don’t have a GF right now. I know, I know, DTB doesn’t need a girl. He’s had his heart broken too many times. He has begun a new era of his life where his actions are not dictated…

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Kevin Garnett 12 Points/12 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

My phone rings. “Hello, this is DownToBuck.” The voice on the other end is angry. “You take that video down right now or I’m calling the FBI.” I am no stranger to threats. NBA players do not appreciate the strange brand of truth that I provide. Without even asking the caller’s name, I know immediately…

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Alex Len Career High 17 Points/4 Dunks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Alex Len is struggling to extricate himself from the bust shirt he is currently wearing, the one provided to him by angry internet commentators. It’s one of those shirts that’s way too tight and thus impossible to get off without destroying it. And destroy it he must not, as there is no guarantee that he…

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Gerald Green 26 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The good news, of course! Despair is so much easier to handle when it is preceded by joy. Gerald Green scored 26 points! That’s the good news. I’ll save the bad for until you’ve watched the video. Go on. Watch it. I’ll still be…

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Jonas Valanciunas 17 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Jonas Valanciunas had settled in, as he often did, for a night of TV watching. His head was the only visible part of his body, as he was swathed entirely in a handmade quilt from his native Lithuania. The newly-acquired flat screen TV in front of him was a significant step up from the Soviet…

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Joe Harris 12 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Well this messes everything up. I have a very strict system, as you might be able to imagine. After I finish burning an individual highlight video to its own VHS tape, it goes into the “Archivium”, where it is kept in a climate-controlled environment for posterity. It’s actually just a bunch of shelves with fans…

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Shabazz Muhammad 18 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

The scene outside the 10th floor window was dispiriting. The first real snowfall of the year was always the saddest. It had already been too miserable outdoors to have any fun, but the sight of this much snow just drove the point in harder. Sighing, Shabazz turned from the window and flopped down on his…

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Mike Muscala 13 Points/2 Real Blocks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)

Ever since LeBron had his triple-double taken away from him thanks to a misattributed assist, boxscore inaccuracy has been a hot internet topic. It’s not a new thing, but when stuff happens to LeBron, that’s when people realize that the statkeepers pretty much can’t tell their own left butt cheek from a hot ham-n-cheese sandwich….

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